Thought of a troubled mind

I've been working for almost three months and I'm pondering about life. Have I made the right decisions? Why can't life be more simple and straightforward? Sure, might lose some of the spice, but I wonder, how much heat can one take from the spice of strife? To go forward, to hold back, to execute, to keep-in-view, what should one do and when? It's all so new and confusing. I am glad that I have a friend where I am right now, cheering me up when I feel so low. I don't know when I became so recluse, or maybe it's a relapse from way back. I remember when I was so outgoing and unafraid. But right now, that part of me seems so far away. Do I mind what people think of me when they read my entries? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I remember when I would just type my heart out, telling the world what was happening to me, but under the veil of mystery. I was able to fully exhibit myself, without restraint. I wonder if I should go back to being a mysterious blogger. Heh. The thoughts, of a troubled mind.